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♂rafar ()
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Tytuł oryginalny How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk

Autor Adele & Mazlish Elaine Faber
Dodane przez ♀gupik ()
Forma poradnik
Gatunek popularnonaukowa
Rok pierwszego wydania 1980
Tagi psychologia, dzieci, wychowanie, dziecko, pedagogika, nauki humanistyczne, nauki społeczne
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♀gupik (), dodano 2008-01-10
Typowy poradnik. Czyta sie lekko. Warto przeczytac, aby wiedziec jak porozumiec sie z najmłodszymi, jednak wraz z dochodzeniem do ostatnich stron, ogarnia znudzenie, bo ma sie poczucie, że mowa stale o tym samym.
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pl

♂rafar (), dodano 2008-03-18
...nie ma bardziej wartościowej, ważniejszej dla człowieka oceny, nie ma czynnika bardziej decydującego w rozwoju psychicznym i motywacyjnym niż ocena samego siebie. (...) Istota tej samooceny ma głęboki wpływ na proces myślenia człowieka, jego emocje, pragnienia, wartości i cele. Jest to jeden z czynników najbardziej kształtujących zachowanie.

en

♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
To Engage a Child’s Cooperation 1. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SEE, OR DESCRIBE THE PROBLEM. “There’s a wet towel on the bed.” 2. GIVE INFORMATION. “The towel is getting my blanket wet.” 3. SAY IT WITH A WORD. “The towel!” 4. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU FEEL. “I don’t like sleeping in a wet bed!” 5. WRITE A NOTE. (above towel rack) Please put me back so I can dry.           Thanks!           Your Towel
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
To Problem-Solve   Step I. Talk about the child’s feelings and needs. Step II. Talk about your feelings and needs. Step III. Brainstorm together to find a mutually agreeable solution. Step IV. Write down all ideas—without evaluating. Step V. Decide which suggestions you like, which you don’t like, and which you plan to follow through on.
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
Instead of Punishment 1. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS STRONGLY—WITHOUT ATTACKING CHARACTER. “I’m furious that my new saw was left outside to rust in the rain!” 2. STATE YOUR EXPECTATIONS. “I expect my tools to be returned after they’ve been borrowed.” 3. SHOW THE CHILD HOW TO MAKE AMENDS. “What this saw needs now is a little steel wool and a lot of elbow grease.” 4. OFFER A CHOICE. “You can borrow my tools and return them or you can give up the privilege of using them. You decide.” 5. TAKE ACTION. Child: “Why is the toolbox locked?” Father: “You tell me why.” 6. PROBLEM-SOLVE. “What can we work out so that you can use my tools when you need them, and so that I’ll be sure they’re there when I need them?”
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
Confused and bewildered parents mistakenly hope that punishment will eventually bring results, without realizing that they are actually getting nowhere with their methods. The use of punishment only helps the child to develop a greater power of resistance and defiance. (Children: The Challenge, Rudolf Dreikurs, M.D., Hawthorn, 1964)
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
To Encourage Autonomy 1. Let children make choices. 2. Show respect for a child’s struggle. 3. Don’t ask too many questions. 4. Don’t rush to answer questions. 5. Encourage children to use sources outside the home. 6. Don’t take away hope. LET CHILDREN MAKE CHOICES.
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
To Encourage Autonomy 1. LET CHILDREN MAKE CHOICES. “Are you in the mood for your gray pants, or your red pants?” 2. SHOW RESPECT FOR A CHILD’S STRUGGLE. “A jar can be hard to open. Sometimes it helps if you tap the lid with a spoon.” 3. DON’T ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS. “Glad to see you. Welcome home.” 4. DON’T RUSH TO ANSWER QUESTIONS. “That’s an interesting question. What do you think?” 5. ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO USE SOURCES OUTSIDE THE HOME. “Maybe the pet shop owner would have a suggestion.” 6. DON’T TAKE AWAY HOPE. “So you’re thinking of trying out for the play! That should be an experience.”
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
Show Respect for a Child’s Struggle We used to think that when we told a child something was “easy,” we were encouraging him. We realize now that by saying, “Try it, it’s easy” we do him no favor. If he succeeds in doing something “easy,” he feels he hasn’t accomplished much. If he fails, then he’s failed to do something simple. If on the other hand we say, “It’s not easy” or “That can be hard,” he gives himself another set of messages. If he succeeds, he can experience the pride of having done something difficult. If he fails, he can at least have the satisfaction of knowing that his task was a tough one.
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
Instead of Evaluating (“Good” . . . “Great!” . . . “Fantastic!”), Describe. 1. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SEE. “I see a clean floor, a smooth bed, and books neatly lined up on the shelf.” 2. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU FEEL. “It’s a pleasure to walk into this room!” 3. SUM UP THE CHILD’S PRAISEWORTHY BEHAVIOR WITH A WORD. “You sorted out your Legos, cars, and farm animals, and put them in separate boxes. That’s what I call organization!”
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
To Free Children from Playing Roles 1. Look for opportunities to show the child a new picture of himself or herself. 2. Put children in situations where they can see themselves differently. 3. Let children overhear you say something positive about them. 4. Model the behavior you’d like to see. 5. Be a storehouse for your child’s special moments. 6. When your child behaves according to the old label, state your feelings and/or your expectations.
♂rafar (), dodano 2013-12-14
To Free Children from Playing Roles 1. LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO SHOW THE CHILD A NEW PICTURE OF HIMSELF OR HERSELF. “You’ve had that toy since you were three and it almost looks like new!” 2. PUT CHILDREN IN SITUATIONS WHERE THEY CAN SEE THEMSELVES DIFFERENTLY. “Sara, would you take the screwdriver and tighten the pulls on these drawers?” 3. LET CHILDREN OVERHEAR YOU SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUT THEM. “He held his arm steady even though the shot hurt.” 4. MODEL THE BEHAVIOR YOU’D LIKE TO SEE. “It’s hard to lose, but I’ll try to be a sport about it. Congratulations!” 5. BE A STOREHOUSE FOR YOUR CHILD’S SPECIAL MOMENTS. “I remember the time you . . .” 6. WHEN YOUR CHILD ACTS ACCORDING TO THE OLD LABEL, STATE YOUR FEELINGS AND/OR YOUR EXPECTATIONS. “I don’t like that. Despite your strong feelings, I expect sportsmanship from you.”
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